I want to tell you something that is provocative, maybe even shocking, but ultimately… life changing.
Before I do, I need to outline a framework for us to explore within, so here it is…
You and I both know that we all have moments or even extended periods in our lives when we are disconnected from our present experience, daydreaming, inattentive and unaware. Our attention is lost in thought, daydreams or imaginings. Life is slipping past, unlived.
We are oblivious of our environment, our immediate experience, and especially the enormity of our existence.
We have lost perspective, lost ourselves, lost our lives…
Other words we might use to describe this diminished mode of functioning are unconscious, oblivious, on autopilot, mechanical, zoned out and lost. The term I like to use to call this lower way of functioning is, Asleep.
Asleep, eyes wide open.
What’s worse, when you are Asleep, you are not only disconnected from your present experience, you are often at your very WORST. When you are Asleep you are often struggling with your experience, recklessly impulsive and emotionally reactive.
These are the worst moments of your life. These are the moments when you have said or done something regrettable because you were lost in your experience, unable to contain what you were feeling and thinking.
Think of road rage… a partner lashing out at their lover… a parent slapping their child in a grocery store line up… a screaming child who doesn’t get their way in a grocery store lineup…
These are examples of emotional reactivity, regression, or what we often simply call, ‘losing it. The ‘it’ that we lost, was our maturity.
Conversely, when you are connected to your immediate experience, alert, attentive and aware, then you are what I call, Awake.
When you are Awake, you are functioning at your very best; you are in the groove. You are in flow with your experience, natural and spontaneously responsive. You are functioning effortlessly, calm, poised and relaxed.
Because you are Awake you are able to contain your painful emotions and destructive impulses long enough for your deeper wisdom to arise. Yes, that IS the definition of maturity.
Now for the provocative, shocking, and ultimately life changing part:
As a Caring Professional I often encounter the term, ‘Best Practice’. A Best Practice is defined as: a method or technique that has consistently shown results superior to those achieved with other means, and that is used as a benchmark.
The practice of being Awake is a Caring Professional’s Best Practice, and the single Best Practice that underlies ALL other Best Practices. Period.
Beyond that, the practice of being Awake is THE ultimate core practice for parents, leaders, lovers and anyone for whom optimal functioning is important.
But I’m not finished…
Being Awake is THE Best Practice for
- Poise, confidence, equanimity…
- Relationships, communication, sex…
- Job satisfaction, performance and efficiency…
- Safety, security, and wise discernment…
- Stress proofing (Forget stress reduction!)
Finally, the practice of being Awake is ALL of humanity’s Best Practice in ALL situations and at ALL times.
Done.
If you know this to be true, and it is, meet me at the Waking Up to the Heart of Care workshop on October 1 at the Black Knight Inn. Seats are limited to 20, the last one sold out. Register here and change the rest of your life:
=>=> Waking Up to the Heart of Care <=<=
Aaron the Wake Up Guy
PS: Don’t miss out on the bonuses that are worth more than the registration cost.
Hi Aaron; I have read your newsletters for years, and am always happy to see them.. One of the things that came to my mind reading this article was “shame”. I have treated my family with anger and yelling, temporarily forgetting that they are the most important people in my life. Later, when I have cooled off, I have felt shame that I lost my temper, and hurt them. I’ve never thought of being asleep while doing this, but is does give me something to think about, that being unaware leaves us powerless, and reactive in negative ways. Thank you for giving me an idea to keep me focused on what I want for my life.
Comment by Linda G — August 13, 2011 @ 9:09 pm |
Thank you so much for sharing that with me Linda. Yes, shame is often the resulting feeling, especially when the same reactive pattern appears repeatedly. We are left asking ourselves, “how could I have said/done that AGAIN?” These patterns of emotional reactivity are tenacious and do not disappear on their own. It takes work. Family and lovers are certainly the master button pushers, causing us to regress and speak and act destructively. Thanks again for connecting with me over the years Linda.
Gratefully,
Aaron
Comment by theaaron — August 14, 2011 @ 5:16 pm |
This is so true, my Son. I am guilty of the above – and probably a victim of it too. I’ve been concentrating on focusing on the positive lately – we are so fortunate in so many ways. Needless to say, we can easily feel negative but that is such a waste of energy and time.
Love you!
Comment by Lois McNaught — August 25, 2011 @ 5:31 pm |